Funny Names to Call a Penis

Do you need penis nicknames? Different names for penis? or other funny words for penis?

Let's face it: Men are fascinated by their own genitalia.

They graffiti penises on walls, doodle them in notebooks, and measure them in locker rooms. It's only fitting that we have an extensive list of penis names.

Sick of trolling the internet for funny, historical, or international nicknames for your or your partner's manhood? Look no further! Here is your exhaustive list of nicknames for 'penis.'

Table of Contents

• Evolution of the Penis Names
  • Nicknames for Penis from 13th-19th C.
  • 1890s: A veritable Renaissance in penis nicknames
  • Penis Names from the 1900s
  • Literary/Classy Penis Nicknames
  • Raunchy/Funny Names for Penis
  • International Slangs for Penis

Evolution of the Penis Names

There are so many nicknames for the penis, so, it's best, to begin with, a timeline of euphemisms. Behold! The evolution of Man's word for his penis!

Nicknames for Penis from 13th-19th C.

1. Bollocks: this term has longevity; it first appeared around 1300AD and is still used by Brits today!
2. Pin: (1460)
3. Fiddle: (Middle Ages)
4. Spindle: (Middle Ages)
5. Pulling prick: (Middle Ages)
6. Plumtree shaker: (1611) usually 'plum' referred to female genitalia. Thus the thing that shakes the plum tree applies to the male counterpart
7. Knick-knack: (1686) in modern speech, this word refers to a useless or superfluous object; the 17th C. usage is not far off
8. Silent flute: (1720) a cylindrical object… hmmm, wonder how they came up with this one?
9. Doodle: (1785) Yankee Doodle? A patriotic nickname for the proud American penis
10. Dick: (1836) commonly heard and used as a derogatory term for a mean dude

1890s: A veritable Renaissance in penis nicknames

1. Abraham: Biblical patriarch, or "Father of many nations."
2. Arse-opener
3. Arse-wedge
4. Athenaeum: denoting the Temple of Athena, or an institution which houses knowledge like a library or university
5. Baby-maker
6. Bayonet
7. Beak
8. Beard-splitter
9. Bedfellow
10. Belly-ruffian
11. Best leg of three
12. Billy-my-nag
13. Bludgeon
14. Bob-my-nag
15. Brat-getter
16. Bum-tickler
17. Bush-whacker
18. Butcher
19. Captain Standish
20. Child-getter
21. Chink-stopper
22. Concern
23. Cony-catcher
24. Copper-stick
25. Cracksman
26. Cranny hunter
27. Cream stick
28. Cuckoo
29. Customs officer
30. Cutlass: a type of short sword with a curved blade, used by sailors
31. Dard
32. Diddle
33. Dingus
34. Dolly
35. Dr. Johnson
36. Enemy
37. Eye-opener
38. Father confessor
39. Flapdoodle
40. Foreman
41. Fornicating engine
42. Fornicating member
43. Fornicating tool
44. Jacob
45. Lance of love
46. Langolee
47. Leather-dresser
48. Leather-stretcher
49. Life preserver
50. Little davy
51. Live rabbit
52. Lobster
53. Lodger
54. Love dart
55. Love staff
56. Lullaby
57. Manroot
58. Master of ceremonies
59. Meat skewer
60. Merrymaker
61. Milkman
62. Mole
63. Nebuchadnezzar: an ancient king of Babylonia
64. Nimrod
65. Nippy
66. Pee-wee
67. Quimstake
68. Skyscraper
69. St. Peter
70. Tentpeg
71. Tickle-faggot
72. Timothy tool

Penis Names from the 1900s

1. Ducey
2. Swelling
3. Sweetener
4. Redcap
5. Majesty
6. Charmer
7. Champion
8. Arm
9. Dodger
10. Ding-dong
11. Aleck
12. Whanger
13. Baby-fetcher
14. Axe
15. Nightstick
16. Joystick
17. Dingbat
18. Gospel-pipe
19. Drill
20. Dingle
21. Corporal
22. Hot member
23. Pencil
24. Wee-wee
25. Goober
26. Cob
27. Hot Dog
28. Banana
29. Soupbone
30. Okra
31. Family organ
32. Mule
33. Dornick
34. Ham-bone
35. Pee-pee
36. Patootie
37. Old boy
38. Crumb
39. Ambassador
40. Organ grinder
41. Whang
42. Tater
43. Putz
44. Bald-headed sailor
45. Weiner/Weeny
46. Toothpick
47. Tonsil Tickler
48. Roger
49. One-eyed rattlesnake
50. Skin flute

Literary/ Classy Penis Nicknames

Perhaps you'd like some polite, literary terms for your penis. These are excellent for use in erotic literature, love letters or sexting between logophiles.

1. Cock: phonetically pleasing; falls nicely between the sexy rake and gallant gentleman
2. Length
3. Member
4. Prick
5. Rod
6. Pud
7. Jimmy
8. Knob
9. Lad (Ireland)
10. Langer (Ireland)
11. Love muscle
12. Manhood: the most polite term of them all
13. Membrum virile: Latin for 'virile member' for all those academics out there
14. Phallus
15. Shaft
16. Tadger (UK, Australia)
17. Yard

Raunchy/ Funny Names for Penis

If the previous lists of nicknames for penis didn't make you laugh, here are some funny penis nicknames that will. Or, they'll just gross you out.

1. Womb broom
2. Womb Raider
3. Weapon of Ass Destruction
4. Vlad the Impaler
5. Uncle Reamus
6. Trouser Snake
7. Tan Banana
8. Sex Pistol
9. Russell the one-eyed muscle
10. One-eyed monster
11. One-eyed trouser trout
12. Rumpleforeskin
13. Richard and the twins
14. Purple helmeted warrior of love
15. Puff the one-eyed dragon
16. Prince Everhard of the Netherlands
17. Pleasure Pump
18. Moby Dick
19. Lord Hardwick
20. Long dong silver
21. Lap Rocket
22. Knobgoblin
23. King Dong
24. Justin-in beaver
25. Herman von longschlongenstein
26. Heat seeking moisture missile
27. Frank n' beans
28. Fuck puppet
29. Excalibur
30. Energizer Bunny
31. Disco stick
32. The Dicktator
33. Cocktapus
34. Clam hammer
35. Cave hunter
36. The blue-veined aristocrat
37. Atomic turtle
38. Action Jackson
39. Mutton dagger
40. Yogurt slinger
41. Meat scepter
42. Wedding wrecker
43. Spam javelin
44. Tuna torpedo
45. Dora the explorer
46. Vagina miner
47. Jurassic Pork
48. Tiny Tim
49. The bone ranger
50. Woody Womb Pecker

International Slangs for Penis

Don't like any of these English nicknames for penis? Try slang for 'penis' in another language! Words for penis around the world:

1. Piel: (Afrikaans)
2. Chin-Chin: (Japanese)
3. Lao Er: (Mandarin)
4. Lu: (Shanghainese)
5. Petter-Niklas: (Swedish)
6. Ptak a vejce: (Czech) bird and eggs
7. Skaufi: (Icelandic)
8. Zip: (Sudanese)
9. Spaetzle: (German) noodles
10. Pica: (Brazilian Portuguese)
11. Pinto: (Spanish) small penis
12. Mulkku: (Finnish)
13. Zayyin: (Hebrew) pronounced like 'Zion,' which leaves room for plenty of puns
14. Dhanda: (Hindi) stick
15. Boga: (Bengali)
16. Isin lulik: (Tetun/East Timor) magic or holy body
17. Bite: (French)
18. Chlen: (Russian) member
19. Cazzo: (Italian)
20. Uberaffengeil: (German) "super monkey horny."
21. Quadibun: (Arabic)
22. Brocos:(Pidgin – Nigeria)

Here are a couple of nicknames for guys with big dicks: 100+ Jaw-Dropping Nicknames For Guys With Big Dicks

What a list of gems! Or, should I say jewels? We all want to know what happened in the 1890s though… Maybe the English were becoming a little less prudish around that time.

Do you have any good nicknames or slang for 'penis'? Comment below to tell us what we missed.

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Source: https://www.findnicknames.com/penis-nicknames/

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